Pondering Pride

Pride is definitely on my mind these days. While LA Pride is still 5 weeks away, my office and organization is very busy with preparations. LA Pride is a huge marketing opportunity for the Center, so everyone takes the details very seriously. It is humorous to me the things we have related meetings about: what games should we have in the festival booth, what fabric should we decorate the parade truck with, how many colors should be in the t-shirt design, etc.? When it comes to Pride, everything is important. All of the meetings and details and coordination leads up to the weekend when the Center and the LGBTQ community can be proud of who they are.

At one point in today's 2 1/2 hour meeting, I spaced out. Pride. This is something that is in many ways new to me. Until recently, my self pride was limited. Don't get me wrong. My self confidence was for the most part intact. I knew that I was a good human being, a good spouse, friend, coworker and family member. I knew that I was a nice, modest, approachable person with a good sense of humor. I was proud of who I was, but part of me was hidden, and because of this my pride could only extend so far.

Relating to something I wrote yesterday about being known, the process of coming out of hiding has helped strengthen the pride I have in myself and as a result the pride I have in others. I have made it a point to be known, for my true self to emerge and share its voice. With this has come a whole new sense of pride. And watching and experiencing how others have reacted to my coming out and being known, knowing that they hear me, know me, hold me and love me makes me 10,000 times more proud of each and every one of them. That sense of pride comes in knowing that although sometimes the content and details of who I am may be difficult to understand, people are still willing to work past their own discomfort and lack of knowledge and understanding and accept and embrace me for being me.

LA Pride weekend will be very busy for me, as I'll be working more than not. But I know that I will have a deeper appreciation for the concept of pride than I ever have before. Pride in my family and friends for loving me, supporting me and believing in me. Pride in my community for acting boldly and demanding tolerance and acceptance. Pride in myself for being true to who I am on the inside. This June I will not only celebrate LGBTQ pride, but I will also celebrate Ami Pride by having life changing surgeries, by continuing on this amazing path and journey and by getting on with my life so I can do and achieve many more things to be proud of. Pride is a theme I wish to establish in my life for the long haul, and I will be proud to have you on this journey with me.